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[dravanicide]

@Estibien

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[dravanicide]

[He allowed silence to fall between them after Aymeric's last bit. Not a peep from him as he stared on at his friend. His expression unmoving, unchanging, and it made it difficult to read him, as he normally was.

This left him in an awkward position, and he didn't know how to deal with it. Except, of course, his trademark fashion.]

I do believe this place has driven you mad.

[Certainly this is what Aymeric wished to hear.]

[heiresy]

I won't pretend that this place hasn't made nicks and dents upon me. But I believe myself to be firm of mind and soul even still. This would not be the first time that our world has shifted before our eyes, but we weathered it together and stayed intact.

[Something in his face had changed. A bit more desperation, maybe some anger and pleading.]

I think you do me a disservice by casting my words aside, Estinien.

[dravanicide]

[Again Estinien remained silent as he stared upon his friend, reading that expression like an open book. Well did he know Aymeric, did he know the passion behind his expression and thoughts, and it comes of no surprise that this too would spur such vigor.]

Very well, I will entertain this crude train of thought. You have your attractions for me, but what is it you expect to gain in kind? Do you think me the type to throw my ambitions to the wayside and merely follow what your heart desires?

I have not the time nor the energy for such, and to speak candid, neither do you. Look around us, Aymeric, scant is this a time nor place for such romantic inclinations.

[Blunt and to the point, true Estinien fashion.]

[heiresy]

What artless parry. We have half of every day that we are forced to sit about and waste our time. In Ishgard, men and women would find ample time to make children as the Dravanians scarred our battlements. If you are uninterested in me in this way, then I will accept it with grace, but I doubt you so incapable a person to blame your action on your environment.

[His eyes narrowed and met Estinien's gaze. ]

[dravanicide]

In the time we sit as ducks, we could be happened upon by anomalies. It has happened before, it shall happen again. I would rather be caught not unawares with my trousers off, Aymeric.

[Not that he's admitting to anything here, more so speaking in hypothetical. After all, it's a struggle to even get him out of his armor to start with.]

I believe you are prioritizing your feelings over our environment, but you have always been a man of strong emotions, so I hold naught against you for it. The mental and physical wear of this land would leave even the most sensible man fragile and wanting.

However, I stand by what I said.

[heiresy]

[a part of Aymeric's mind wants to say "you don't have to take your trousers down", but he manages to stifle it. ]

And you are a man who leaves your soul starved and withered. A man cannot last that way, not even you.

[he has a look on his face like he wants to say more, but he hates speaking about the future that Estinien doesn't know. ]

It is true that I am wanting. I think that you are too, yet you won't allow it in yourself. But a man does not become less hungry just because he tells himself that he can't feel hunger.

[dravanicide]

What folly.

[He glared as he spoke, giving Aymeric a dangerous look, as if the man was playing with fire, and mayhap he was.]

My soul hungers for one thing and one thing alone, and that is naught more than vengeance against dragonkind. If you think that I would allow any such nonsense as what you are obsessing over to distract me from my goal, from my life's mission, I know not what to tell you.

Besides, 'tis cruel and foolish to engage in such entanglements when my revenge will prove to be a double edged sword.

[Meaning, he fully expects to die when he confronts Nidhogg. He knows what Aymeric tells him, but he still finds it hard to believe, and so—stubbornly—he still holds onto the idea that the future he has yet to live is not so clear cut.]

[heiresy]

Prove? What proof do you have but your own suicidal fantasies concerning that damn wyrm? It is common truth that the people here come from different places as well as times. Why would I lie about aught so grave?

[his body language shifts again as he remembers Estinien recovering under the chirugeon's care. ]

You said then that you had nearly lost yourself to vengeance whole. Nidhogg has lost himself to vengeance; are you no greater than he?

Furthermore, I am hardly obsessed!

[dravanicide]

The fact alone you would bring this forth as if it had any purpose in our struggle to survive shows well enough your obsession.

[More deflection. He really was not sure how to handle Aymeric like this, or how to even express his own feelings in general. Partially because he wasn't sure of them.]

It's not so simple to accept what has yet to pass for yourself, Aymeric. And for me, a man whom has not thought once of a life beyond Nidhogg's reckoning, such a future sounds impossible.

[heiresy]

You continue to speak to me as a politician and not a friend. You tell me to speak plain, and yet you refuse to do the same. I had not expected you to have an answer for me, yet I expected aught closer to an admission of attraction solely to women. You wound me by forcing me to chase you round the core of the matter!

[He is overcome by compulsion, the need to show Estinien how things could be. He grabs Estinien by the shoulder and leans in, trying to press his mouth against Estinien's. In his mind, the mania blots out the obvious danger of this maneuver. ]

[dravanicide]

[Estinien did not even get the chance to retort before Aymeric tried to pull such a daring move. Had he not been his friend, Estinien would have allowed him to make out with the knuckles of his gauntlet. Instead, he brought up the candy that had been resting in his hand for this entire exchange instead, allowing it to press into the kiss Aymeric seemed so desperate for--effective shoving it into Aymeric's mouth.

He was lucky, that the paranoia that had been plaguing Estinien did not affect his view of him, or the reaction might have been far more lethal.]

Aymeric. Enough of this mummer's farce, you wish for something I am unable to give. Let it be.

[Still he avoids the answer Aymeric so desperately wants, but how can he answer when he barely knows what he wants?]

[heiresy]

[By sheer surprise with his eyes closed, he takes the candy into his mouth. He opens his eyes and upon tasting chocolate decides to just chew. He seems to enjoy it, but he's still feeling like pressing this issue. Perhaps from a different angle. He swallows the unfamiliar confection, though it seems somehow sweeter than even syrup. ]

...Have you ever given it to anyone? You've always been a radiantly beautiful, though dangerous looking man.

[dravanicide]

Do not feign ignorance over such matters, you know well the answer.

[He barely can make friends, let alone find someone to love and bone. Too busy having dragons on the brain.]

Besides, what I look like matters not.

[heiresy]

I suppose so. You have the ability to disappear for so long, though. I had oft wondered what you did then. If I were you... [He trails off, a more interesting thought taking him. ]

I find it hard to believe that you have never felt amorous, though. Even the women's uniform shows some skin. It's quite cute, though I never understood the tactical advantage. And as I had heard, Lady Ysayle had her own allure.

[dravanicide]

[Estinien gave a flat look at Aymeric, and he so wished he could leap from this conversation like he had many others of the past.]

Aymeric, enough.

[It was true, he never did, he had no reason to feel that way. His mind was and always had been clouded by Nidhogg, anything else did not matter in the slightest. Well, besides Aymeric, and even then he took second and was well aware of such.]

That you would bring Lady Iceheart's supposed attractiveness into this speaks plain of your mental fraying. Let us end this pointless exchange.

[heiresy]

I think you rather liked her by the end.

[He eats some cookies in the time he allowed Estinien to speak, then holds the bag open, offering them. ]

They're fairly good, if not very strange, little biscuits. If you hadn't stopped me just then, would that have been your first kiss?

[dravanicide]

[He stared at Aymeric in disbelief, the shift of his mood, and the way he was approaching such matters bespoke of something wrong, it merely added fuel to the fire of Estinien's assumptions towards the state of Aymeric's sanity.

His eyes fell to the bag offered, and in his annoyance he slapped them out of Aymeric's hand.]

Cease this line of questioning, do you seek to humiliate me? Not that your endeavor will be rewarded, but I see not the purpose of this.

[heiresy]

I never mean to humiliate you, Estinien. [His far-off jovial look shifted to one of seriousness and concern, his personality glimpsing through the madness. He looked at the cookies scattered on the floor, then back to Estinien.]

You batter me with accusation and insult, as if aught I ask should produce embarrassment. I only wish to know about you, for I love you.

[dravanicide]

You are mad.

[Now he's absolutely sure this is madness brought on by this place. Much like when he hunted and killed Francel, when he had little control over himself, this too is the same for Aymeric.

Though he wonders what purpose making one think themselves in love with another would prove in this tormented place.]

You know me, far more than any other. What you know should be well enough for you, so cease asking me of intimate things you should be able to surmise the answer for by knowing my character alone.

[heiresy]

[He seems fraught, though he nods with solemnity. Though Estinien had said it at least five times in as many minutes, it only started to sink in. And he considered it. ] Days ago I had felt robust, powerful, alert. I feel this way still, but I can't seem to dam the rushing river of my thoughts. I sleep no longer. In Ishgard I certainly would have been put to death. Well, perhaps in the days before the Inquisition had its teeth plucked from its maw.

[he steps closer, though his head is bowed. It seems unlikely that he would try to kiss him again like this. His arms find their way around his shoulders and he holds him in a hug. ]

Hold me, Estinien.

[dravanicide]

[Estinien said nothing, merely sternly looking on at the man who had been his friend for so long, but the madness had left him like a stranger. He remained still as he came closer, as arms wrapped around his shoulders, but his remained still as stone.

The request was received, and his plea not quite ignored, but the movements of his arms were not as fast paced as one would likely assume. Hesitation filled the gesture, almost speaking of untrust, but he did eventually place comforting arms around the other.

It was a loose hug if anything. But still one all the same.]

You are unwell, my friend. You should rest and purge this folly from your mind.

[heiresy]

[ He nestles against Estinien's neck. He seems to calm for a moment, as his shoulders begin to shake with laughter. His woes of insanity already forgotten.]

That's the damning thing. I cannot rest and I do not want to rest!

[He releases Estinien to pick the Oreos off the floor, putting them back in the bag. There used to be days that he would never consider eating something off a floor. ]

You should eat and replenish your strength.

[dravanicide]

[It was almost more concerning that he would drop the topic so quickly after what they had just gone on about, near shouting at each other over Aymeric's supposed romantic fancy for him—he was certain that their fellows were somewhat privy to what their private talk was about due to the sheer volume and ferocity of the exchange.

He supposed he'd deal with it when it came to pass. For now, he watched as Aymeric picked up the Oreos off the ground without a care or concern for their cleanliness. An oddity for the man, but less so for Estinien.]

I cannot say I have much of an appetite.

[Not with that display happening. It had left him uneasy, and it helped little and less that he had his own sort of madness gnawing at his mind.]

Mayhap in a bell or so.

[heiresy]

[Aymeric seems entirely unaware that Haurchefand and Francel might have overheard them. And it clearly concerns him very little if they had. He paces as he eats the dirty cookies, cleaning the grit with a fingernail.]

Few things soothe the soul like a lover's kiss, Estinien. Perhaps you could soothe me? [A catlike grin. Is he joking? He places a hand on Estinien's chest.]

[dravanicide]

Aymeric.

[His tone is dangerous and low. He thought they had just settled this, it appeared he was wrong.]

You are fortunate that I stopped your first assault with that strange snack, but if you attempt once more, you will know well the taste of my gauntlet. Mad or no, I will not tolerate this, and I will beat the madness out of you if you persist.